Ruminations
by avatar-ahsoka
Summary: Strange visions have been plaguing Senator Amidala for weeks. Is The Force trying to tell her something? The only way to find out is by allowing these dreams to play out before her. One-shot. Anidala


Sleep tended to elude Padme Amidala nowadays. With the war seeming to finally draw to a close, the Senate and her newly formed Delegation of 2000 were both buzzing with new action. Also, her slumber had been marred by night terrors and bizarre visions for weeks. Nonetheless, she tried to sleep tonight.

"Do you believe the prophecy? Will Anakin bring balance?"

A strange yet familiar voice spoke to her in her slumber. That refrain played over and over in her mind as violent images flashed before her eyes. A hellish inferno, a barren desert, a mechanical moon. Suddenly, the voice disappeared and was replaced by a scream. She could tell the sheer amount of pain in that cry as the sound intensified. Padme began to feel her body contorting. Any control of her own body dissipated.

As quickly as the tumult came, it went away in an instant

"My lady? Senator please wake up."

Corde was standing over her friend's convulsing body as her eyes opened and she reentered the real world.

"Corde," she said through choppy breaths, "What happened?"

The handmaiden hastily ran about the bedroom, turning on the lights and collecting more pillows to elevate the Senator's head. She returned to the bedside and helped Padme up.

"I heard you screaming from the other room," Corde said with worry, "and I came in here and saw you shaking wildly. I should get a medical droid."

Padme quickly grabbed her handmaiden's arm, "No. No I'm fine. I just need some water," she noticed how drenched in sweat her pale green nightgown had become, "and a change of clothes but I can do that myself."

Padme's smile comforted a still worried Corde, "I'll get you some water while you change and I'll meet you in the loft so I can check all your vitals, okay?"

The Senator nodded with a kind smile. As Corde left, Padme stood and massaged her pounding head. She entered the expansive closet hoping to find her most comfortable gown. A light blue one caught her eye. The last time she had worn that particular one was a month ago, before Anakin was deployed on the Outer Rim Sieges. Those were joyous days when the Council assigned him to Temple work. The two lovers would spend whole rotations together. Padme would glide her hands over his body, tracing the scars he had amassed during the war. She would berate him for his recklessness but Anakin countered his undying love preserved him through the war this long, so what was the point of avoiding risks now?

It was during those times their marriage felt real. For the first time since the war began, her husband seemed truly happy, but she knew better.

Even those joyous hours were blighted by Anakin's stormy dreams. Several nights in a row he would be awoken by violent nightmares. She tried many times to get him to discuss them with her, but the Jedi would never open up to his secret wife. Curiously, during the last few rotations of his prolonged stay on Coruscant, the two began to share dreams. Padme did not how this was happening, but she had no way of fighting it no matter the moral dilemma she felt by peering into someone else's psyche.

Anakin's dreams would drift into her mind as well as the accompanying feelings. Visions of Ahsoka leaving the Temple made them feel emptiness, Obi-Wan brought vague anger, Palpatine brought curious allure, but whenever Padme would appear in the Jedi's dreams all negative feelings would go away. She could always feel the light inside his damaged heart come out whenever his dreams would wander to her. But, vicious terrors forced Anakin to relive the countless battles he had waged in this horrible war Padme hoped to end in the Senate. She tried to reach out with whatever mysterious power that was bonding them, trying desperately to heal him to no avail. Every morning she would awake with tears running down her cheek. She never spoke to Anakin about it, instead attempting to enjoy the waning time they had together.

Padme slipped out of her trance like state to realize she had already changed and arrived in the loft. Corde approached with the same smile that always graces her face. Padme sometimes found herself being jealous of how positive Corde could always be despite her family being all the way back on Naboo. The handmaiden handed over the cup of water to the Senator. Padme sipped as a hand felt her wrist, checking her pulse.

"You seem alright," Corde said as she swept errant curls of hair from Padme's forehead to check for fever, "How are you so cool? Just moments ago you were sweating through your clothes."

"I was just having bad dreams, Corde. You need to get home," she picked up a datapad from the small table in front of the sofa, "it is midday in Theed, you mother will be expecting you call soon."

Both women smiled and Corde's worries were assuaged by the peace in Padme's usually sad eyes.

"You're right, my lady. I should be going. Captain Typho is right downstairs and I am only a call away."

The Senator nodded in response and then Corde was gone. Only Padme remained in the small loft. She stared off into the skyline of Coruscant. It amazed her how much peace she could find here, in the bustling heart of the Republic. However, no matter how peaceful this apartment was, the villa in the Lake Country was infinitely more tranquil. Sometimes Amidala found herself dreaming of what it would be like to be Naberrie again. What her life would have been like if she had never been Queen or Senator, just another idealist. But, that was not reality. Years ago she admonished Anakin for trying to live in a fantasy. Now she found herself doing the same to herself. Amidala was her name and her life was wholly dedicated to the people of Naboo. Not once had Amidala struggled to separate personal desires and her duty to her people, now would be no different.

Amidala began to pore over the datapad, reading a bill Bail would present before the full Senate tomorrow about diverting war funds to public services. She wanted nothing more than to finish preparations for tomorrow but exhaustion overtook her and she fell asleep on the sofa. This time, her slumber was very near comatose for a while. All she saw around her was a dark void that was a welcomed harmony in comparison to the earlier maelstrom of fantasies. Even as Amidala floated in this dark netherworld, she found it considerably strange that she could still think and feel.

An intense heat overcame her, and she could not tell it was occurring in this bizarre dream or in the real world. Before her mind would give her time to think critically about the situation, Padme came to on a volcanic planet that had inhabited one of her previous visions. Underfoot lied molten rock with lava flanking the left side. Nothing made sense. So, Amidala did all she could. She walked forward.

All her adult life, Jedi around the Senator spoke of how they could gauge a situation by peering into The Force. Somehow, they asserted, this magic could speak to them and tell them what the nature of any given situation was. For the longest time Padme thought this was nonsense, but, if she had a credit for every time a Jedi around her uttered 'I have a bad feeling about this', she'd be as wealthy as Nute Gunray by now. This planet gave her that legendary 'bad feeling'. All around the Senator was a malevolent darkness, a hopeless dread.

She roamed the seemingly endless expanse of scorching rock for quite possibly hours. Amidala knew she was meant to be here for some reason. Anakin had told her many times before that The Force does not bestow nightmares, only premonitions. Anakin. How she longed for Anakin's companionship right now. Perhaps he could discern what was happening with this mighty Force powers. But, through this ordeal, Padme felt a strange power as well. From the melding of dreams, to being able to sense things a normal being shouldn't be able to, all of it seemed to point to The Force. But she was no Jedi? She was not born with sensitivity to the binding power of the universe.

Her pensive trance was broken when she saw a robed figure standing only a few yards away. The man stood static and rigid before the river of lava flowing only steps away from him. Padme could sense that it was Anakin, but it was not the same man as her secret husband. This Jedi was confused, lost, even more hurt than the one she loved.

"Anakin?"

The figure turned and immediately the troubled expression lightened to a beaming smile. The Force shifted from shadowy to calm, just as it had done when his dreams changed from barbarous images of war to the face of the woman he once called an angel. Anakin practically ran to her without questioning why she was here in a nightgown.

"My love. What are you doing here?" Padme asked the Jedi

"I'm claiming my destiny, Padme," a scowl came to his scarred face, "Our future"

Grim shadow returned and threw The Force off balance.

"I don't understand, Anakin."

"And I don't think you ever will, my love," his raspy voice was a far cry from the tender and loving tone he had the last time they were together, "Just know everything I have done, and all I will ever do has been for you, Padme."

Skywalker turned his back on Amidala. A painful silence overtook them as the doom Padme had sensed grew greater by the second. She refused to give in to whatever nefarious and vague destiny Anakin spoke of. All she could feel in the Jedi was dread. Padme reached for his shoulder and brought his face back into her sight.

"Anakin, what are you speaking of? How long will it take you to be honest with me?" years of frustration poured out of her, "Stop all of this. I can feel how twisted you are inside. Stop all this. Come back to me, that's the only way we will have any future at all."

She reached for him, bringing the confused Jedi into her soothing embrace. After a slight hesitation, Anakin wrapped his arms around her lower back. The two lovers stood there, a serene meadow of the light side amidst the ocean of darkness and lava. Padme felt a tear descend down her husband's cheek and land on her face. Peace was something Amidala and Skywalker cherished with all their hearts, but they also knew it would never last, it was just a matter of who would be the one to shatter it. This time it was Anakin. He broke the embrace and backed away from Padme, but none of this was his choice. She could feel that he was being manipulated by a greater power.

Tears streamed down his face and he wanted so desperately to be in her embrace again. The Jedi Knight was pulled by a supernatural force down the hill and towards the lava. Anakin's mechanical hand reached out for her and she met it. Her soft flesh met the lifeless metal as he was being dragged away. But then the alloy grew hot to the touch and she recoiled, watching helplessly as some ethereal puppetmaster pulled him into the basalt.

In an instant, Anakin was engulfed by flame. Padme screamed with all her might even though she knew it would accomplish nothing. She had to stand there and watch as the man she loved disappeared into flame.

Then all at once he was gone and Amidala was alone. Still, she could sense a presence. A distant rumble emanated from far away. One of the dozens of volcanoes that dotted the horizon had erupted. The ground shook with such violent rage. All this coincided with the growing awareness that something evil was approaching her. She however decided to stay put. She had spent too much of her life trying to cheat fate. Now she was resigned.

Only moments passed before Padme could feel the manifestation of all the evil she had felt reach her. Deep in her mind, Amidala could see his image. A tall man, more droid than organic, clad in varying shades of black. She examined his soul and all she could see was suffering.

The same singeing pain that came from Anakin's hand as he was set ablaze returned, this time in her stomach. Padme looked down to see a crimson blade light piercing her abdomen. The lightsaber was removed and a black wound, surrounded by burned blue silk remained. How was she not dying? Padme did not even feel pain. Instead, she looked towards the erupting volcano that spewed ash into the air. No longer did she hear the cataclysmic roar of the ground being torn open, instead there was the scream of a newborn child, perhaps two. The screech drove away the darkness that plagued Padme for this entire ordeal. This infant was able to restore light to shadow.

Padme returned to the void she had occupied before she was transported to the volcanic world. Nothing made sense to her. The wound was gone, she no longer felt the intense heat on her skin, and the child's cry was gone.

"Do you believe the prophecy? Will Anakin bring balance?"

That voice returned, but this time it was accompanied by a faint light, revealing the figure.

"Master Qui-Gon? How are you here?"

"The Force works in mysterious ways, old friend," the specter spoke in the same kind way the Jedi Master did in life, "As I am sure you now know."

So The Force had inhabited her. Padme had no words for she did not comprehend yet the gravity of what was happening.

"Do you recall, Padme, Anakin's mother? How she carried him without ever naturally conceiving?"

Amidala simply nodded. She recalled the story very vividly.

"She carried a being with the single greatest connection with The Force ever recorded in the history of the Jedi," he paused before revealing his great truth, "You too are carrying a gifted child, Padme. Another with great force sensitivity. That is why you are having such intense visions. Only one other person has ever endured what you have."

"I'm pregnant?" she did not know why she asked, she already knew it to be true, "I…I don't know what this means, Qui-Gon. Is my child the true chosen one? Is that what those visions of Anakin dying and that dark figure being dispelled by their cry meant?"

"It is possible," the deceased Jedi lowered his head, "but whatever the truth is, Padme, I do not know if you will be able to survive."

Amidala stood silent, allowing her hands to rest on her stomach.

"I've spent my entire life serving the best interests of others. If my child is the true chosen one…I can't risk the fate of the galaxy on selfish whims," Padme inhaled deeply then raised her head to meet Qui-Gon's gaze, "I will accept my destiny, whatever it may be."

"That is very noble, Padme and I assure, someone of the Skywalker line will bring balance to The Force. But, do you believe Anakin will willingly accept your choice?"

Before Amidala could answer, the ghost of Qui-Gon faded away as Padme fell back into the real world. She awoke in a stupor. Once again drenched in sweat and tears. Outside the viewport she could see the rising sun glistening off the chrome landscape of Coruscant.

She rose and breathed deeply a few times to subdue her lightheadedness, then walked back into her room to get ready for her day at the Senate. The galaxy would never quit moving, so neither could she.


End file.
